I’m super excited today. This article is about how to make a man miss you and so let me set this up. One of the biggest challenges that the people that work with me have is that they get into a relationship with a man and things are going so well in the beginning, he’s super thoughtful, he’s texting, he’s calling, he’s doing all the right things and you know the woman might be a little bit more reserved. She’s taking her time, she’s seeing what he’s about and then she falls in love with him, she decides to get into a commitment with him and then all of a sudden everything changes.
He’s not so interested in her anymore, he’s not texting, he’s not calling, he’s not planning, you know all of these amazing dates like before and heard of this happening and it seems like the biggest thing like peace. I understand he’s so busy but like you know he doesn’t text me good-morning anymore, he doesn’t call me, he doesn’t plan dates. I want him to be like he was before, I want him to be missing me the way I miss him so I think it’s hard to give like the one overarching reason because it is really specific and dependent on the situation but I think oftentimes for men, it’s like this huge mountain to be able to get into a relationship with a woman that you value and so you’re really working hard, you’re trying to prove and be your best self because ultimately you’re trying to win the love and affection of someone that you care about, that you want to spend a long time with and what happens I believe is I think that we take people for granted. I think it’s a very normal common thing, I think that in general that people take things for granted. It’s like a human, it’s a natural thing that as we get something or attain something whether it’s a new relationship or an object or an achievement.
It just starts to feel normal and every morning and we’re looking at in this beautiful or Australia. If you haven’t seen where mark lives, mark lives in Bosh Mick. I woke up it’s so nice in Australia. Next month we’re going to train, the three of us are going to do a repeat so I guarantee you that if I went into Mark’s backyard, I would be blown away with just the romantic beauty of the Australian sunset and Mark might look at the backyard and say I wonder if it’s going to rain later, now I’m not saying that you don’t stop and pause and appreciate but it takes effort, you actually have to put effort forward, not to take things for granted and I think that it’s a very easy thing and then what happens is all of a sudden he’s taking you for granted and you resent that and it kind of just creates conflict. So at the end of the day I look at a relationship forming as you know what are you giving to the other person and if two people go into relationship giving to another. I look at it as a making emotional deposits into their bank account so saying I love you or you are beautiful or doing something for someone basically adding value to someone’s life is like making a deposit and then asking for a favor or forgetting a birthday or saying something mean or being in a bad mood and kind of putting out that negative energy that’s taking a withdrawal and if both partners are both focused on investing in the other, eventually you’re going to build a vault of love.
Absolutely, women come to me all the time with this dilemma and they say I want this to shift, I want to be back how it was and my first thing, if I’m working with a client is okay, how was it in terms of you know what were you doing differently, how was the balance different because so often before we’ve committed, we’re both working for each other, we’re both leaning in at times. There’s no game to this, it just what happens is a natural flow of a relationship and then once the commitment is there, there’s this lean in from her. She’s giving more time, more attention, more of her love than he is returning and this lean in it because of this single commitment, it gets messed up and I say as well as making the emotional deposits.
You’ve also got a balance that was something I talks about which is leaning back, which isn’t because you’re intentionally creating space or anything like that, it’s just doing the same things you were doing before that made him so attractive and made him feel like if he dropped the ball, he could still lose you.
Commitment shouldn’t be a thing where okay I’ve kept you, she’s committed to me now I can treat her how I want. That’s sure that’s going to totally lose a guy’s interest because even though he’s getting the great experience, he’s not driven by that need for work and that a little bit of fear, there you talk about so eloquently when a guy has to still feel like oh you know I’m as good as my last couple of weeks. He’s still going to feel like even with the commitment he could blow this great thing that he’s not early and with you just doing your own passion spending more time with your friends, keeping you fitness, all those attractive things that God feels that space that he can cross to get more in his emotional bank account with you.
I think what happens is you know the guys trying so hard in the beginning he wants to win your affection. He wants your attention, he wants to have your love and he’s working on it and you know women are a little bit more reserved. They’re trying to see who this person is and so when they decide that yeah I’m going to be in a commitment with this person or this you know the man asks you for a commitment, then all of a sudden they are thinking that let me text him good morning and they are trying more, they’re putting more investment so that they’re working harder towards this and the man is kind of they’re leaning back and so they’re doing all of the work man and you know one of the things that we were talking about was I think that whenever I’ve been in love or whenever I’ve fallen in love there was always the person who I felt a little bit afraid of the fact that that person has other options.
A guy can’t think that he has you because if he just knows like oh you’re totally smitten, you’re totally in love, you want to get married, he’s just like okay I’m busy now I got to work . You know you’re texting him good morning, he doesn’t have to text you good morning so the thing that we’ve talked about before is that if you just back up a little bit and focus on being an independent woman that doesn’t need him and focus on the experiences that you have when you’re together making those experiences great, that reminds him of why he’s with you as opposed to asking him all the time why didn’t you text me, like I know you’re changing, used to text me all the time in the morning, used to call me every morning, we should plan dates, you’re changing what’s wrong when a man starts hearing that he’s like I have to worry. She’s mine, you know he doesn’t feel like he has that all. If I don’t step up to commitment or no commitment, she is going to go yak on the loser. He’s like oh and when he feels that because you’re still doing all your stuff, you’re keeping yourself literally being authentically, you in the relationship with him and without him then he feels that pull to lean back in and like I still got this prize.
They’re not going to like to lose you and you just said it I think what we’re really talking about is we’re talking about mating value and this is something that is a little bit taboo to talk about because I think at the end of the day, a lot of my clients just want to fall in love and be authentic and it’s very difficult to view dating as though there’s almost like a marketplace where someone has a certain amount of value and when we actually go out and when we date, we’re looking for a deal, we’re looking for a value and there’s one person in your life today who has the best knowledge and understanding of what your market value is you know who that is you thank you.
I mean I didn’t get that I was hoping, I think at the end of the day what you guys are really just talking about is that if a man is ignoring you, if a man is not giving you what you really need, then if you don’t have standards, if you don’t lift yourself up and you stay with this guy, what does that say could you imagine the woman you value most little well she going to do that. Know I always say you got to put yourself respect above your feelings. I love that, let me use it go to please because if they if it’s authentic to feel that but if you’re just feeling and you’re not respecting yourself in the process and your value, people will interpret your value about yourself and that’s how they’ll see you so you know there’s been women where it’s like I really like her unfortunately so myself prestige oh what are you doing in all seriousness. This sometimes, you have is the self respect first and I like you. I put myself out there but you’re not giving me back what I need so self-respect comes first when the guy feels that he’s like all over the girl whatever when the person feels that they’re like all I’m going to lose this person they’re putting self-respect first that’s when they reinvest and you get your authentic self respect meant by a man who he doesn’t respect you or if he doesn’t meet you at that point, then what a man who will absolutely and so to boil it all down so what do you do when you feel like this guy is not appreciating you, he’s not respecting you, he’s not valuing you like he did before rather than going towards him and saying come back I want you, I need you.
You need to step back a little bit and go towards you because he’s you know think about it this way. If you were telling your best friend, if you were telling your sister advice and they told you that like this is what’s happening, you would say don’t you know he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not giving you what you need, he’s you would tell her to back up and let him appreciate you and so the bottom line is back up start focusing more on you and let if he values you, if he loves you, if he wants you will see a change in him and he’s going to notice, he’s going to be like what’s going on here.
If you don’t notice that then it wasn’t meant to be anyway, I mean let’s be real. Full agreement is cool that’s it okay so we have Jason from attract great guys please go check out his channel I love his content I watch his content I’m a subscriber I watch every one of his videos and I love them and I think his advice is authentic genuine and beautiful and he’s so thankful that he made this special motion graphic.