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Is Any Attention as it Seems Better Than None

As it stands for many of us it’s important to be noticed, appreciated and recognised, but for most people, attention is their “life blood”. It is what motivates all of their actions.

And if they likely don’t get positive attention, mostly like smiles, words of compliments and praise, they’ll settle instead for negative attention, in the form of disdain, criticism and sarcasm. They highly regard anything as better than being ignored.

I can vividly recall a client who commented that their parents were not so much interested in them that they hardly notice even when they behaved badly. They tried as much as they can everyday to get some attention, even as much as resorting in disruptive behaviour, their parents remained very indifferent or oblivious to almost all their efforts.

Then, there are those who receives a great deal of extreme care and great attention when they’re un-well, in this case who then have to struggle with the realization that once they are recovered the full-on nursing and administering to their need will gradually fade away. Obviously for some, their can be reluctance that can lead to a revert back to the independent autonomy that usually and most times comes with being well.

Attention as the word implies, be it of any kind, is an acknowledgment of our presence. It’s confirmation that we exist and we are not really invisible. Someone has noticed us. But we have to ensure that it is the very right kind of attention..

Why does it matter so much? Why is any attention better than none?

We see through life with our own eyes, coloured by our very own past experiences and our ongoing daily perception of what’s actually happening to us. Being in a situation which is historical and resulted in experiencing upset or unpleasant things which may cause us to become more guarded and self-protective than if we did’nt had those experiences. Other people treatment in regard to us and how we respond can colour our view of people and how we define our role in their individual lives.

It’s of great importance to keep this in mind if we are inclined to feel vulnerable when others are overseeing our actions. It yreally helps us to remember that feedback, especiallly negative feedback, may not really be about us. Though, it’s not always vert easy to detach from that initial impression..

Other people may feel stressed about what’s actually happening in their lives, or they may be irritated by our apparent success and suspect that we have perhaps in some way or the other side-lined them in trying to get to where we are today. Their may even be reasons why we do not know or even understand.

So do we endeavour to use there apparent displeasures as a spur to improve and try harder, with the ultimate goal of winning them over and receiving positive recognition. Or do we allow there negativity to reinforce our own sense of not being good enough?? Does their attention gives us ground to accept that they care enough to comment?..

Finding a voice that’s strong to ask for more respectful response, which ends up demonstrating our confidence, challenges their perceptions, focuses attention on our very good points and highlights our achievements may ultimately and hugely succeed in process of changing the dynamics of the relationship. If not is it time to question whether this relationship should continue to hold such a very powerful influence over us?

Of course, approval does matter. It is an external yardstick which can be used to measure ourselves, helping us to gauge our successes, compare our actions and results. It’s hard to operate in a vacuum and that element of comparison and even competition can help spur us on, motivating us to improve and achieve more.

Read Also – Is It A Surprise For People Who Are Attractive to be Single?

And, if someone’s paying the bill, engaging our services, they’re entitled to a certain quality of performance and level of satisfaction. Their attention is focussed on getting good results and receiving what they’re paying for.

Equally, does doing well mean as much if no one comments or congratulates us? Is it enough to be pleased with ourselves, proud of what we’ve achieved, the hard work we’ve invested? But often an extra level of satisfaction comes from other people, when they cheer and recognise what we’ve done, appreciate the effort we’ve invested.

Even if we suspect that their praise and congratulations are not 100% sincere there’s a good feeling that can come from simply knowing that others have noticed us.

Those who criticise us may have their own agenda. Whilst not allowing them to deflate our enthusiasm or demotivate us, remembering this can help us to step back and accept that we need to work towards goals and self-improvement that benefit our own quality of life.

If other people’s negativity continues maybe it’s time to look into finding another ‘tribe’, to connect with people who value you, who understand where you’re coming from and encourage you to excel. Sometimes we need to take control and manage our own orbit.

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