Whether you are in a relationship or not and the next few minutes will be important to you because you are about to learn the secrets that many wise people have never learned what it takes to make a romantic relationship work. We’ll find out why you’re attracted to your partner. And if you are not married now, why not look forward to dating in the past? And it’s not something you think it will be. We will also look at the five stages your romantic relationship will need to go through.
If you want to create long-term communication, stability, security and love, we’ll look at what category you can get into, and what you should do if you do. Finally, we will consider what to do when feelings of inadequacy begin to fade. As they often do in long-term romantic relationships. So if you and I have not met before, I am Juliet And I am very interested in helping smart people like you build lasting romantic relationships with your love partner and help you find all the happiness, communication, intimacy, and freedom a practical love relationship should give you without settling down, without compromising and without losing process .
Follow me inside and let’s go. If you have anything like me, then your romantic relationship may start as a series of magical moments when your heart beats faster and your spirits go up and your stomach makes flip-flops just at the thought of seeing her, You feel so loved, you also felt so much wanted, appreciated, and needed to join hip and one day, something bad started to happen.
That feeling of romance began to fade and you began to see how different you were from your partner and maybe even how much you sacrificed to be in a romantic relationship with your partner. Now the little things you once loved about your partner start to annoy you and before you know it you are arguing over nonsense. He included what we call the Struggle for Power. What do we do when we enter the stage of the struggle for power? In order for our needs to be met, in order to have that feeling of being in love and, we see, it is better to go and change our partner into what he was before, and be like us. Does that sound familiar? If you’ve tried to change anyone before, you’ve probably noticed that it doesn’t work. So both you and your colleagues are equally trying to exchange this stage of the power struggle. And before you know it, a relationship that used to be a safe haven of love is now a place full of uncertainty and you may feel like you have to walk over egg shells around your partner when you don’t feel accepted just because you are human. When we start to feel disconnected we usually do one of two things: We can be needy or try to reconnect with our partners or shut down and need space and want to withdraw. Does any of this sound familiar? Am I close? If you can understand anything I’ve just shared, I have two things I want to say to you, one that says: “Normal and not your fault.”
All relationships go through this Stage of Struggle Strength when you leave the Romance Stage on your way to stability, you can’t go around it. There is only one way and that has gone through it. And two: “There is hope.” Sadly, in order to learn to love, you must first learn to love. And this is just the natural phase you go through. If you teach yourself how to get through the Struggle Stage phase on the other hand it is a deep – mature – love opportunity, intimacy and communication. That’s way more than anything you’ve ever seen back here on the Love Stage. How come we on the other hand have heads over heels in love with our partner? On the other hand do you feel like our partner is hurting us in a relationship? One reason could be: That relationship goes through five stages. As pointed out by Dr. Susan Campbell in her study of hundreds of couples.
The first stage is called the Romance stage. When we are in love, we are in love with one person who is not in harmony with us in the universe, someone who can cause us great pain and can meet our basic human needs. Why? It turns out that we humans are no different from anything else in nature. We grow old or die. Nature really wants us to grow. So nature makes us fall in love with someone who is not very much in harmony with the People who know you best and who are able to make your worst dreams come true. Why? Because man can press our button, force us to grow and expand our lives. They are the perfect people to ensure our growth. But if we knew that this person was the most incompatible person in the Universe to us, we would run as fast as we could on the hills, wouldn’t we? So nature uses us. Yes! That is the only way we can fall in love with someone who is not very compatible with Earth. Your brain releases a series of chemicals like Phenyl ethylamine and Oxytocin and your favorite Dopamine so you can only see your partner through rose-colored glasses. You would focus on the romance stage of how you and your partner are alike and ignore your differences.
You will do anything to please your partner and make them like you. Because you are high on drugs! If you wouldn’t run a mile, would you? What happens is that the most common cause of the drug lasts anywhere between two months and two years and probably an average of four to six months before it start to fade. And when it starts to age, you have what I call a “love hangover”. You get out of bed with the most inconsistent person in the Universe and go on and the Stage Struggle phase begins. And that is when the highest percentage of first marriage divorces occurs most often, about three to four years the sign of the relationship. Eventually, when your brain stops producing oxytocin, as well as dopamine, and all these good drugs, you wake up and realize how much you have sacrificed to be in a relationship with this person. And now he wants you back! You want to find your own independence and independence. So you get into this kind of war tug-of-war. This is a love affair with your partner trying to be in a relationship but still independent. And what happens is because most couples – ninety-nine percent of them, I think – have not learned how to handle conflicts. How to really communicate and how to deal with this stage of the Power of Struggle, they end up dealing with it in one of two ineffective ways: They may break up or survive. The path of separation often occurs with people who have always had a type of serial daters. They go around, and they go around, and they go around in the romantic stage. Falling in love with that feeling of love for the drug caused you to become addicted to drugs. And they fell in love with this feeling of being in love until then; they ended up being serial daters. The moment they hit the Power Struggle category they run away from their relationship and get the next one.
The second way people deal with the Strength of the Struggle without going beyond survival. That they often resign in order to loosen or sacrifice. And they give up what they really want in order to have a partner Yes, the relationship dies emotionally. They died inside. I’ve been there and done this in the past too. And then their love life also dies. Often this ends in infidelity or eventually the partner breaks up and the romantic relationship eventually ends OR the relationship survives the pain of a lifetime. When the Cold War happened to me in my relationship, I was caught unawares we had moved so fast in a few months from being head over heels in love until we got into an argument. Looks like we couldn’t have a conversation that already sounded connected without it exploding out of proportion to the argument. I didn’t understand you! Because I was a conference leader who helped thousands of people around the world change their lives. Yet I don’t seem to be doing the simple task of finding the woman I loved to answer me the way we felt connected and in love. Then something unexpected happened, and he left me to live in another country. I was shocked and horrified. I decided that this woman was my soul mate and I would do anything I could to bring her back, so be the geek I am.
I also went on to study with successful couples who have passed through the Strength of the Struggle and have made it a lifelong love affair. I started learning communication skills and started learning how to resolve conflicts. And I found another way of the first two options for separation or just survival. I would like to say this to take the third option, an option that many couples do not know about, let alone take. Taking a third option involves learning to love lovingly with consciousness. It involves, instead of seeing your partner as the most incompatible person in the world you begin to see them as the most qualified people to help you grow instead of your relationship just being fun and secure turning your relationship into a cross allows you to grow and mature as people together. And for that to happen, you will need to learn some skills that your parents or teachers did not teach you at school. It took us six months to negotiate our differences before he called me one day and said: “Dear, no one can make me feel loved and accepted as you do”. As you can imagine this was the happiest day of my life. And we didn’t get there by accident Are we still fighting? Do we still have arguments? Of course we do! But they never turn into a matchmaking match for the mud they are used to. They do not turn into pronunciation. They become opportunities for us to get in touch. With all of our arguments now, we are able to turn it around, so that the cycle of repeating the same issues stops happening again. And we begin to find the arguments complete. So once you have learned to fight in a successful way for both of you, you enter the Stage.
These beautiful stages would take a deep breath (SIGH) and relax as the romance from the romantic stage returns but in a much deeper way. And all that connection comes back. And you see that you will never change your partner, and they will never change you, and you stop even trying to do that, and you are happy to accept them the way they are. At this stage if you know the communication skills and learn to respect each other you move on to the next step which is the Commitment Phase. If you don’t know those skills well and don’t learn that mutual respect you go back to the Power Struggle, round and round and round and round. You will die.
It’s not a good picture, but how many relationships end is why we have a divorce rate higher than 50 percent.
Let’s look at the Stage of Commitment. At this stage you choose your partner as he or she is. You begin to feel a wonderful balance of sweetness, strength, love, yours and freedom! Perhaps you make a commitment to work together spiritually. Unfortunately, many couples get married or commit to the Stage of Love when they are completely addicted to drugs and have no idea who they are. And they don’t even know how to go about it when it happens. And then they wake up one day, and they’re trapped in this marriage, and before they know they’ve got children and they don’t know how to use it. This Stage of Commitment Stage is the first stage where you are really ready to make a clear commitment to your partner and if you do it right; you end up moving on to the next stage called the Bliss Stage. And in the Bliss category you both as a group will go out into the world and move forward in your relationship, maybe you work together. Maybe you do something in your community together. Maybe you start a business together. Either way, your relationship serves the world as a gift and you make a difference together.
When you have it! The five stages of a relationship: Fighting the Power of Love, Stability, Commitment and Happiness Now, at what stage? Speak the truth to yourself. Where are you? I will teach you two myths that if you believe in them they will take away any opportunity of your relationship that lasts a long time. I will teach you two ideas of conflict reduction when you are fighting or arguing with your partner. We will also look at the nature of war and why they happen. And then finally we will move on to how you can end this cycle of having the same issues over and over again, never solving the real problem at its root.
I hope you found this article relevant and you have been able to find yourself in one of the five categories I would like to hear from you about what you were thinking and that perhaps you are fighting your relationship right now in the face of the Struggle War phase. So please leave me a comment below and I will do my best to answer your questions. I will be launching the LOVE AT FIRST FIGHT training program soon. Where I would teach these communication skills I was talking about. So, if you would like to be informed before anyone else about when we open the doors of that program. Just open your email address in the small box below and press a button and we’ll send you an email before we send an email to everyone and finally, please use the share button. Share this on Face- book via email to your friends, so that other people can get the same value on this.
Please do share your romantic experience in the comment section about your romantic relationship or if at all not in a romantic relationship, you can as well drop a comment, we will address to it on how to make and improve your relationship to be romantic.